I Cross My Heart

Disclaimer: I just own the fanfiction. The characters all belong to Spelling and Co. As some of you know, I've always felt cheated that Mr. Kern never gave us a happy ending with this wonderful couple. Thus, I've devised a little "alternate" situation of my own. I urge you to come and participate in a happy ending.

The rain pelted down upon the roof, fresh droplets cascading to the ground. Dodging more puddles than she cared to count, he watched her make it through the turmoil, her hand clasping the gentleman's beside her. She let out a high-pitched giggle, nervously stepping to safety beneath the confines of the manor. And once again, he was caught up in her beauty. He felt himself wince slightly, as the pair shared a brief kiss.

"Well. I must say, I had an absolutely wonderful time tonight," Phoebe Halliwell declared proudly, her grin spreading from ear to ear.

Her companion returned the smile, nodding. He wasn't much taller than she, and was clothed in a rather tacky suit. His hair hung in wet tatters over his head, and the newspaper in his left hand was completely soaked. "I did too," he responded quietly. "Can't say I planned on the weather, but-"

"Oh, don't even worry about it. Didn't make the slightest bit of difference," she insisted, raising her eyebrows.

"So...you, uh, want to go out again?" He shot her a sideways glance then. "You know, that was probably really sudden, but I...I really like you, Phoebe."

"And I like you too, Mike."

"Do I sense a second date in the works?"

Her expression suddenly dropped into an unwavering frown, as she quickly looked away. She took a step back from him, adjusting the strap briefly on her purse. "You know, I hate to sound entirely corny here, but, um, how about a rain check on that one?"

"Hey." He held up a hand. "There's no rush, alright? Really. And listen, you can call me anytime you'd like, okay? Just...take your time."

"Yeah," she whispered, blowing out a breath.

He gave her one last peck on the cheek, before he fished his car keys out of his pocket, heading to the curb. "Good night!" he yelled back.

"Good night!" she echoed, pulling her arms closer to her, as they encased themselves protectively around her small frame.

"No. No, I think that would actually be good evening," another voice greeted her, as its owner made his way out of the shadows.

Her face took on a fairly troubled expression, as she reached for her house key, throwing it into the lock. Her fingers nervously attempted to pry the manor door open with lightning speed, as she edged her weight up against it. "I have nothing to say to you."

He raised his eyebrows. "Hmm. Well. Yeah. But you sure had a lot to say to Mike back there."

She stopped, whirling around to face him. "That was because he was my date, Cole. I'm supposed to be polite."

He offered her a brief smirk, tainted with a hint of amusement. "Oh, is that what it was? Funny, our dates never went like that. In fact, our kisses were a lot more passionate than that."

"I wouldn't know," she hissed. "I've made it my business not to remember."

"Really."

"You're not even supposed to be here. You're not welcome anymore. In fact, you haven't been for months now."

"I didn't exactly plan on the last minute visit, but I came to get something," he cleared up. "Something that's mine."

"I sure as hell know it isn't me," she insisted, her face nearly turning a bright shade of crimson. "Now, run along-"

He briefly cleared his throat. "Sorry, but it's not that simple. I was talking about something I left behind from our bedro- your bedroom. It won't take long, I promise."

She stared at him long and hard, her eyes holding his. He looked gorgeous. Unshaven...clothed in a sweater and jeans, and okay, she was staring. Of course, this was Cole Turner she was talking about- the one man she'd given her heart to. The one man she thought she couldn't live without. Now here they were, separated and unwillingly participating in each others bouts of misery.

"Is something wrong?" he asked softly.

"No. No, nothing's wrong," she confirmed, perhaps a little too quickly. "Do you wanna come in?"

He didn't respond, as he slowly stepped past her, placing a single foot inside the manor. His hands gently clasped in front of him, he waited until she shut the door, shrugging out of her coat. She quickly slung it over the rack, her hands scraping themselves against the fabric of her jeans, as she met his eyes with a quick flicker.

"So what is it?"

"What?"

"Don't play dumb, Cole. You said you came for a reason. What is it?"

"Well, we're awfully impatient, aren't we?" Upon witnessing her tired expression, he sighed. She looked so fragile right then and there, as if her whole world had come crashing down on her. She had seemed fine only minutes before. But he knew her too well. Phoebe would never be fine. Not when she was still denying something she'd fought so hard to protect herself against. "I just want my ring back."

"But you have your wedding band," she pointed out. "As a matter of fact-"

"Not....the band. The one I gave to you the night the Source took me over," he explained, averting his gaze. "The engagement ring."

She closed her eyes for a moment, slipping her hands into her pockets. "Oh." She uttered a nervous laugh then, as she gently rocked back and forth upon the wooden floorboards. "There's no such thing as a gift when you're divorced, right?"

He shrugged, completely indifferent. "Well, you've already implied just how much you're no longer in love with me. So I guess it's only fair." He cleared his throat. "I mean, what reason would you have to hold onto it, anyway?"

"Cole-"

"It's okay. I can get it myself," he surmised, already heading toward the stairwell.

She reached out, rapidly grabbing a hold of his arm, gently yanking him back. "We're not even going to talk about this?!"

"Talk? Um...correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that beyond you now?"

"And you're only doing this because you despise me," she roughly accused, crossing her arms over her chest, as she placed one foot directly in front of the other.

"Actually, I think you have that backwards. Seems to be common knowledge with you," he quipped.

"So...so what are you going to do with it, hmm? Sell it, give it to someone else- just to spite me? That's pretty damn low."

"And so are your feelings where I'm concerned. But I guess you don't have time to think about that anymore. I'm just some guy that makes trouble and is a failure in your eyes. Hey, it's my ex-husband, Cole. Need I mention how he was taken on and possessed beyond his control to save the Halliwells' asses?"

He hands went straight to her hips, as she began to shake her head. "Oh, so this is basically you dumping your own little guilt trip on me, is it?"

"My God, I wish you had put me out of my misery when I'd asked!" he whispered, his composure fading. "I mean, you clearly don't care, so why should I?"

"You're impossible," she hissed. "On second thought, you know what? Maybe I'll just let you have the damn ring back. Since it meant more to you than it ever did me. And it's no joke. Any memory of you...us...makes me wish I'd never met you."

"Fine. Whatever."

She groaned, brushing angrily past him, as her hand tightly gripped the banister at the stairwell. She quickly made her way up the steps, Cole right behind her. Turning the knob to her bedroom door, she creaked open the contraption, immediately coming to an abrupt halt by her dresser.

"Mmm. You got new sheets," he commented, a brief grin falling over his handsome profile.

"Well, what can I say? I'm all for change. More importantly, I needed to get my life back on track."

"So it's that simple."

She rapidly turned around, nearly colliding into him, as she placed a small hand upon the wall to steady herself. Her heartbeat increased then, as she refused to back away, their bodies only inches away from one other. Cole briefly looked down at her, wincing, as his expression suddenly dropped once again. "Yes, Cole. It is that simple. I never needed my sisters to tell me I made a huge mistake in getting involved with you. So okay. Maybe I couldn't stop myself before. But this is different. I've learned to look past the things I did in the past. I have a new life now. I get acquainted with other men, I date them, I have a good time."

"But I'll bet none of them could make you smile as much," he noted carefully, his voice barely reaching her.

She blushed once more, ever so slightly, as she finally broke the hold on his eyes. Reaching into her jewelry compartment, she gently withdrew the item, placing it lightly into his grasp. Upon contact, their hands touched, and she quickly pulled her hand back, only to have the ring tumble to the ground below- falling quietly onto the carpet.

Offering a short laugh, Cole bent down to retrieve it, only to clash heads with his ex-wife. He threw out a single hand to steady her, as he finally concealed it in his grasp with the other. "Sorry," he mumbled, as he tried to hide a smile.

"Ouch," she whispered, gingerly fingering her forehead. But despite her annoyance, she managed to form a small smirk of her own, as she pulled herself back to her feet. "It's alright," she assured him.

"So...I guess I'll be on my way then?"

She considered it a moment, narrowing her eyes at him, as she scrunched up her nose. "You were just checking up on me, weren't you?"

"What?"

"It was never your intention to ask-"

"Well, now that you mention it, I think you probably still have a couple of my shirts in the closet as well."

"I'll just bet you do," she snapped.

"It's only fair," he reminded her.

"Since when do things have to be fair?"

He glanced at her, the pain in his chest nearly unbearable. His eyes found hers at that moment, as he willed himself not to break down. It was no use. Everytime he saw her again, it would be this way. There was only one solution that seemed clear enough to solve it, and it seemed to be the only one left. He had to tell her. It wasn't that he owed her anything- in fact, he wasn't even sure she'd react to it much at all. "Phoebe."

"Yes? What?"

"I'm going away."

"Mmm hmm. Vacations are good. Especially when you're under stress from an ex-husband."

"No. I don't think you understand. I mean...I'm leaving. For good," he then whispered. "All things considered, I still want to work to preserve my sanity at the moment. Although...we can likely argue I probably lost it a long time ago."

"Yep, little too late for that," she acknowledged happily.

"And that's just perfect. It's just what I expected."

"So let me get this straight. You're going to pawn my ring, and jump the country?"

"And now you're suddenly going to object?"

"Cole, listen to me-"

"Oh, I'm way past that now. Believe me."

She quietly bit her lower lip, clearly troubled by her own reaction. She offered one last look at the ring, her visage a mass of confusion. "Fine. Then go."

"You...might want to put a little ice on that bump you've got there, alright?"

"Cole-"

"You know, as matter of fact, it'll just take a minute." In a single flash, he was gone. Phoebe laid a finger upon the swollen lump again, offering a prolonged sigh. Some night. She was beginning to sense that she could no longer place the blame on him any longer. Something was telling her it was beyond her at this point in time. If he was actually serious about moving on without her, she actually wasn't so sure she liked the idea all too well, as oblivious as she'd tried to become to it. Her hatred had grown- but the surprising thing was, it was just as strong as the love she still had for this man. More so than she'd go as far to admit.

He reappeared then, some ice clothed in a fairly small towel. "Here." Hesitantly, he began to press it to her forehead.

Phoebe gently took it from him, as she quietly took a single step back. "Thank you."

He smiled. "I really think I should go," he said quietly.

"Cole..."

"Your sisters will probably be back soon, and to be truthful? I'd rather not run into them."

"You never did come for the ring, did you?"

He laughed, sighing. "And you could always figure me out so well."

"It's a flaw," she added, shrugging.

He slowly seated himself down on her bed, perched near the very edge. Briefly running a hand through his dark hair, it came to rest just above the neck of his leather jacket, his other hand perched calmly upon his knee. He took a deep breath, refusing to meet her eyes just then. "Phoebe, look. I'm not here to make myself out to be some sort of hero. As a matter of fact, I'm anything but. But I guess I wanted to clear the air. And for that...I had to get you alone so you would really listen to me. The things I did when I was under the Source's-"

"No. I don't want to hear this," she told him, tossing the towel onto her dresser.

"I know you don't. But I have to tell someone. And if you still know how much I love you-"

"Your love was never enough to save us," she roughly pointed out.

"Because you didn't want it to," he replied simply, shrugging. "It was never about what I wanted. Or how much I could've cared. It was always about you, and...and these stupid rules you'd set aside for yourself on how to control me." He frowned, as a single tear began to roll down his cheek. "Do you...have any idea- any at all, what it was like for me to hear about you and Miles? To see that you had supposedly found love in someone that wasn't me?"

"And I did love him. Unfortunately, Death got to him first."

"Yeah, but if Death hadn't, would you have really wanted to spend a lifetime with him? Knowing all we've gone through? Have you ever asked yourself that? Hmm?"

"Don't do this," she whispered.

"Oh, I am. Because you really need to know it. Everything aside, he seemed like a nice enough guy. But we both know you'd be lying if you agreed to my question now, wouldn't we?"

"What makes you think I'd ever take you back in a heartbeat?" she hissed.

"For the same reason that you haven't kicked me out yet," he added, forcing a small smile.

"You think your pain means nothing to me?"

"I know it doesn't."

"Cole, we can't be together. It's the way it has to be."

"Why?" he asked her. "Because you get to decide? Well, I'm sorry, but I think it takes two to make things work."

"And you're deciding for-"

"Dammit, Phoebe. Don't you think we've both been through enough? That we deserve this? I mean, c'mon, I'm sure as hell not falling out of love with you."

"Stop saying that, alright?!"

"Tell me that you don't love me," he added quietly.

"Cole, please."

"What are you so afraid of? I mean, I think we've already well established the fact that it isn't me."

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to take a few steps closer to him. A thousand different memories just came flashing back then. She didn't know where they were coming from, but they were there. It was just like her dream. Their first kiss, their first night together, finding out he'd tried to kill her- but had failed against the Triad's wishes, vanquishing them where they'd once stood. This was a man she'd risked going to hell and back for, just so she could hold onto their love. This was a man she probably didn't deserve right this very minute, but one carried a strong affection for her regardless of her mistakes. She took a breath, pulling open her lids. "I'm not afraid of you," she agreed. "But I'm afraid of losing you."

"Phoebe-"

"Ssshhh," she whispered. "And before she realized what she was doing, she had practically flung herself on him, gently pressing her lips up against his, impulsively pulling him to her. She ran her hands over his scruffy countenance, her other slowly caressing itself through his hair. To her, everything else had since faded in the room, coming to a direct halt. It was only Cole- the man she'd repeatedly abandoned these past few months. And more than ever, she wished that had never happened.

Cole smiled, as he softly broke away, his face completely lit up. "Thank you."

"Well, if you're still interested-"

"Always," he replied.

"I was going to say we could take this a step further and try to make it work."

"What changed?"

"Cole, my heart has always been with you. And I plan to keep it there. I don't care what it takes. I love you-"

"What?"

"I love-"

"Say it again," he whispered.

She chuckled, throwing her arms around his neck. "I love you, Cole Turner. I love you, I love you, I love you."

"I really think I'm liking the sound of that," he added, his smile growing wider. "You're rather fickle, you know that?"

"If we can start over-"

"There's nothing more in the world that I want- well....other than you..."

She sighed. "It can't hurt, right? I think we need each other...as much as I wanted to shut that out before. We really do."

He nodded. "So if I give you that ring back, and propose for the-"

"Fourth time," she finished, smiling.

"For the fourth time..."

"Then, I'll nearly be caught up to Grams in terms of proposals," she added, giggling.

"It's nice to hear your laughter again," he whispered. "I really missed it."

"And I missed you," she told him.

He brought her close for another kiss, his lips softly meeting hers. He heard her sigh, as he closed his eyes, almost wishing they would never part. He'd come here to announce his departure, but had found something else instead. In the midst of everything, she still loved him. This woman, who up until this time had shunned his very existence, was in his arms. And that was telling him everything had been well worth it.

The End