Love's Mission

Disclaimer: I just own the fanfiction. The characters all belong to Spelling and Co. Consider this piece my own little take post Cole's final vanquish in season 5, in the sense of what could've and should've happened, had Cole really been taken in as an avatar...after death. Enjoy.

She awoke with a start, frantically gripping the blankets that surrounded her, nervously yanking them to her chin, as she shivered reflexively from the cold. The rain was coming down in steady droplets upon her windowpane, as it hummed silently against the glass, almost begging to be let in. Her breaths were escaping her with rapid strength, as she fought to reach for the lamp located beside the large bed. But she pulled back yet, hesitating, still unsure of her familiar surroundings. Her long, straight brown hair hung in mindless tatters around her face, as she lifted a tense hand up to brush a few strands astray. Her eyes were wide. Sleep still comfortably sat there, followed by an exhausted sense of self. Her clock read 3:37 in big, gaping red letters, as it continued to sit upon the solid, undisturbed piece of wood, lending her a branch of light in the dark. It had only been about a week before the dreams had come to her. She'd been completely helpless...paralyzed against the unconscious thoughts that had taken her into a neverending battle between life and death, consuming her guilt for all she was worth.

He'd come to her, seeing through her unconscious frame of mind, his face clothed beneath the shadows, the startling reality of it almost too much to bear. And she hadn't wanted to bear it. She hadn't wanted anything to remind her of any essence he'd ever bestowed upon her. She wanted him to be at peace, with hopes that she could finally rest from the damage that had taken the one man she once loved as dearly as life itself. Of course, she also chose to deny that love every chance she got, because the man he used to be, the man he was- hadn't existed for a long time now, or so she'd struggled with herself to believe. But her beliefs were comprised of threads that hung by fragments of doubt and faded glory. The dreams had merely been pieces of a life she no longer knew. Her heart had grown frigid, and with it her soul had become tainted on the one part of the past she'd always miss.

Her petite form offered a startled yelp, as her tired lids fluttered to the doorway, a hand catching her chest, as she saw the beautifully sketched outline of a man hovering in its place, a brief glow illuminating from the hallway behind him. He studied her only a moment, his hands fisted inside the pockets of his jeans; his boots caked with a small amount of mud. The sweater he wore, mirrored his medium build, and hung upon him with ease, the thick sleeves defining his muscle tones rather effortlessly. He was the way she'd remembered him. His face bore a calm five o'clock shadow, his saddened blue eyes falling with the smallest of whispers, as he beckoned himself to take a single step forward. His lips resided comfortably against one another, without the slightest purse to complicate them. He was a cross between a tortured monster of the afterlife, and a long-suffering man of the now.

A dream within a dream, she thought. Only this time, so incredibly real, that she could feel his presence overwhelming the emptiness of the room, giving it a feel all its own.

"They told me to wait," he said softly, "that you weren't ready yet."

She lifted her head higher, relaxed just a little, as she arched a thin eyebrow. "Ready? For what?"

"The truth," he added, gesturing, as he calmly removed his hands, topping it off with a single shrug of his shoulders. "Matter of fact, I probably shouldn't even be here right now."

"It'll end," she whispered, "just like all the others. You can't hurt me anymore."

"You're not dreaming," he brought forth, his gorgeous countenance traveling to a fair amount of amusement, as he inched his way a bit closer.

"You're dead," she recited simply.

"Maybe in your world," he conceded, nodding. "But in mine, things just got a whole lot better."

"This isn't...."

"Of course it is."

"I'll scream. Someone will hear me. Piper will come. You can't hurt me," she repeated.

"You can't hurt what you can't touch," he conceded, pain etched in the crevices of his tone.

"I don't understand."

He helped himself to the rocking chair she'd only recently added to the growing collection of furniture, admiring the arms, adjusting his sweater sleeves, before he laid bare skin down upon the cold wood. Bringing his left foot up to the opposite knee, he gently ran a hand across his lips, pausing to take her in again, the sheer brilliance literally captivating him all over again, aside the obvious darkness that had ultimately broken them. "An avatar," he retorted, while an ounce of smugness coated his deep voice.

"And any minute I'm going to wake up again, and you'll be right back where I- she put you. You deserve to be in hell for everything you did, and you're going to stay there, if I have to put you there again myself."

"With all due respect, it's easier said than done. And as we've both seen, you couldn't always stay away."

"You killed people, Cole. Innocent people. That'll never constitute forgiveness, no matter how you look at it. You're through."

He shook his head. "No."

"What?"

"I'm afraid it no longer works like that."

"The hell it doesn't. You're a figment of my imagination, you're not real."

"And who’s to say what's real and what isn't?" He laughed softly in his throat, tapping his strong fingers against his jeans. "I never thought someone so heartless could exist in a good witch, but I guess I was terribly wrong about that too, wasn't I?"

"You're not here," she repeated.

He stood, trying hard to maintain his sense of dignity as he looked down at her, waves of passion coursing through his veins at the same time he managed his composure, letting the anger drift to the inside walls, aligning itself with the need he still felt for her. "Because you still want to believe it wasn't meant to be? That it suddenly makes everything okay again?"

"That's exactly how it is, and whatever you are right now, knows it."

"I could have waited forever for you," he told her, lowering his voice again. "I could have spent years in limbo just waiting for you to find a way to bring me back again. But...." he paused a moment, wincing. "You didn't have to, and I never did. Maybe I didn't want to. They took me in, and they cut me a deal. A deal that just happens to involve you. They made me me again."

"You're lying."

"Oh really? And that's for you to decide?"

"The real Cole Turner wouldn't have cast himself into an alternate plane of existence to win my love. He would already know his chances were over. He wouldn't have put on the near to pathetic display I heard about, and he wouldn't have wanted my sister in pieces."

"Mmm...that's right. Paige," he nodded, a half smile creeping around the outer edges. "The woman who always thinks she's got me pegged like a book."

"She does," she hissed. "She was there."

"And maybe the real Cole Turner doesn't have it in himself to give up on you just yet. Though....I have reason to believe our previous relationship speaks for itself."

"Oh, you have no idea."

"And why should I give you up?"

"Who are you kidding? You gave up on your right to me a long time ago," she whispered.

"My right, really?" He frowned, his blues dropping back into the shadows. "And...tell me something, Phoebe. Did I really have a choice?" His voice threatened to crack now, as his tone continued to maintain its reluctant distance.

"I did, and I made it."

"So you did. But are you happy?"

"More than you'll ever be," she snapped.

"I want you to come with me," he told her, effortlessly shrugging off her comment, as he held out a strong hand, letting it linger ever so briefly, as he waited for her to get a firm grasp.

She didn't take it. "Some dreams die hard, Cole."

"Yeah, mine certainly did." He nodded, pausing a moment. "Take my hand. I want to show you something."

"I'm not going anywhere with you. In my mind, you still don't exist."

"Did you ever wonder what your world may have been like?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Did you ever wonder what the world still has in store for you, because you made those choices you did? I mean, for all intents and purposes, it's just a question."

"If you're asking me if I think the world is better with you gone, I-"

"The scary thing is," he continued, ignoring her, "is that what you don't already know, could just end up costing you your life."

"Are you warning me about a demon, or are you just here to flaunt your new title?"

"I'm telling you to be careful."

"From what?"

"Are you going to stop fighting me?"

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you do," he whispered, taking a step closer to her, as his gorgeous visage nearly crumbled in the darkness. "Every second you got, you fought me, Phoebe. Right until the bitter end. You're still fighting me. Nothing's changed. Truth of it is, I shouldn't even be telling you any of this. Truth of it is, I'm probably even betraying my cause." He almost laughed, as a faint smile highlighted the pools of blue. "I'm a balance between good and evil. I'm something the world has never known. But you...." He let those lips fully transform his face into a full smile, as he let a strong hand linger near her jawline, as if mentally tracing its outline, his heart catching in his chest. "You've always known me, Phoebe. Since the day we first met. Do you remember?"

She brushed the back of her hand lightly to her cheek, as the blackness of the room continued to mask her countenance somewhat, half of her wanting to take back the droplet that had just fallen onto a heart of stone. "It doesn't matter. You're not a part of me anymore."

"You're my weakness. I can't deny it, not even after death. You killed me, and by God, all I seem to keep doing, is thanking you for it." He slowly raised a brow. "Come to think of it, my only crime is the one thing I've always been guilty of."

"And you can't go back. You know you can't. We're too far away from each other now."

"I once thought heaven would have me," he concluded softly, "but that I'd never make it there in a million years, no matter how hard I kept trying. I think it's because I always knew, you know? Someone like me gets a break, and I sure as hell don't think I'll make the world's greatest avatar."

"What did you mean when-"

"We miscalculated," he mused. "There will be no heaven. Only a hell."

"Hell...."

"Yes. We thought we could contain evil, and avoid its pull from consistently consuming the good in record time. It's what they recruited me for, and ultimately surmised to be our goal. But the discovery it led us to, is far more serious than we could have possibly imagined. A new evil struggling to gain a foothold, will eventually rule above ground, and he'll succeed. You and your sisters will be wiped out, and we'll all be forced to come together under their terms. We don't have any information on their whereabouts, or even when they'll strike, but then again- we're rarely ever wrong."

"You make it sound like you're a real pro now."

"Was that a compliment?" he returned, clearly stunned, both of his eyebrows raising themselves up.

"So our only choice will be to surrender to evil," she sided, her voice no more than a whisper.

"Exactly. Which is why I've come to you."

"You said you weren't giving up."

He shook his head. "Not when I need you this much. Dammit, Phoebe, I know what happened, because you did it to me. I know that right now you're unsure of where to turn, because your loyalties no longer lie with me. But you need to rethink that- you have to rethink it."

"I don't even know who you are anymore."

"If we take a chance again, you won't have to."

"Won't I?" she breathed. "It's all I've ever done."

"No, it isn't." He considered her a moment. "But if it's one thing you've always done, it's running away....from everything you don't understand."

"Cole, I-"

"I still remember the letter I wrote to you. I didn't know if we'd ever meet again, but deep down inside of me, I secretly hoped we would. It was stupid, you know? To think my thoughts so foolishly. I wanted to be vanquished that night, Phoebe. I wanted you to end it. I wanted it over with. And after I saw what we could have been like? The way we grew apart- maybe some small speck of me wished I had been put out of my misery. I sure as hell wasn't happy. And yet....I think the same could've also been said for you. The Phoebe I looked at for the last time wasn't the Phoebe who's sitting before me right now. She was full of cruelty that went unnoticed all those years, and she put herself into an unhappy marriage for kicks. She'd never really be satisfied, because she wasn't the woman who was strong, and caring, and the one I originally fell madly in love with. That's you. The other one exists on a plane of reality that doesn't allow her to love."

The tears were pouring down her face now, as she struggled to meet his gaze, emotion overtaking her entire being, as she lifted a shaky hand to her cheeks again, his words clearly shifting her off balance. "I don't want to be."

"Why?"

"I don't know if I can let you in again. I...I want to, but I don't know if I can, Cole. It's been....God, it's been so long."

"I'm a good person," he whispered. "And if you never believed that before, believe it now. I owe everything to you."

"What do you want from me?"

"You wouldn't be able to go back," he told her. "You'd-"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Join me," he said softly. "Help me do what's right."

"And what'll happen to Piper and Paige? Leo? What'll happen to them, if they take over?"

He smiled. "With you on our side, your strength will help us keep the trust that's existed in the world since the dawn of time. You'll be doing more than you know to save humanity."

"And what about when I wake up?"

"You're not dreaming," he reminded her, "and I'm far from a figment."

"How do you know all of this? How can you be positive it'll come to pass?"

"I can show you," he told her again. "I can show you the world after its destruction, and our failure to protect the inno-"

"We've always saved them, it's what we do."

"And once the demonic reign regains its standing, the Power of Three will be corrupt, and will essentially cease to exist."

"I don't understand."

"You don't have to, to see what's coming. They don't think you're ready, but I do. In fact, I think you've been the perfect candidate, since you let all of that anger get the better of you. It's sometimes kind of attractive and....oddly flattering at times."

The corners of her mouth lifted themselves into a tiny smile. "Maybe because I hadn't realized what I left behind."

"And now?"

"Half of me still wants you gone, and the other half still wishes you'd stay."

"That's not-"

"How can you still be asking this of me when I sent you away? I thought I had good reason, Cole, and I was so relieved- so relieved you were out of my life, because then I wouldn't have to hide anymore. I was free, and I was actually happy. I was free of....everything. No more grief, no more wondering what would happen if you had hurt me, or-"

"I'll let you sleep on it," he offered, wincing slightly, as he took a strand of long brown hair, and slowly ran a finger over it, still finding himself very much drawn to her, even as he began to move farther away.

"They'd never forgive me," she whispered.

"But they'd thank you for it later," he countered. "When the world is safe, and...we did something good together."

"And I don't know if I can do that to them."

"Phoebe-"

"Why did you risk it, when you know they're dead set against it?"

"I missed you?"

She nearly smiled. "I thought you were dead. But then I realized the Cole I'd loved was probably dead long before I'd come to that conclusion."

"You said you didn't feel anything anymore- and after I....well, resorting to pathetic schemes to try and-"

"But you have to go now, don't you?"

"I'll give you until tomorrow morning," he whispered.

"Cole Turner.....trying to save the world again."

"Count on it."

But he never counted on her hand gingerly moving behind his neck, or the way she quickly pulled him close, her lips lingering on his in that tender moment, as he felt her heart skip a beat, as it lay pressed against his chest. He responded to her wholeheartedly, pouring heart and soul into her, as he was reminded of all the days they'd shared apart. Somehow, it didn't seem to matter anymore, if they could start over again, and rediscover each other's feelings again, victims to the one thing that had drawn them together in the first place. He let his forehead rest against hers, as he kept his head tilted down to her level, her petite frame standing on tiptoe to meet him.

"Goodbye."

"Good night," she corrected, a faint memory willing itself inside of her, as she reluctantly let him go. She watched as he slowly faded away into the shadows, his blues touching her until he was completely out of sight, a quiet grin spread over his beautiful face, until there was nothing left and she sadly realized she was alone again. "Yeah," she murmured to the vacant space around her, half hoping he'd come to answer her back. "This time it's different, isn't it?"

The following morning she awoke, greeted by a fairly small, and fairly familiar silver wedding band sitting comfortably upon her pillow, polished and clean cut with age gently carved into it, as it glinted with the soft shade of light that delicately reflected it from all angles. She took it hesitantly in her grasp, her fingers moving over the smooth surface, as she held it calmly between her forefinger and her thumb. Holding out a finger, she drew it across her skin in one natural maneuver, its feel surprisingly warm to her touch, as the sudden warmth radiated pleasantly off her skin. Settling back down into the sheets, she pulled them up to her chest, as she began to toy with it, all the while noticing her lips had tugged themselves into a carefree smile she hadn't seen in months.

The End